I can recall the first time it came rolling out of my mouth, "Oh, Texas". We were avoiding driving through Dallas by heading east towards Paris. Along the way, most small towns all seem to have working automotive repair shops, but also quite a few gas stations gone out of business. How backwards is that? They need upgrades for the vehicles, but not fuel?
I definitely "Oh, Texas"ed when I found out that gas stations in Texas give a discount on fuel if paid in cash. Why is that a benefit? So you have a better chance of making money off of food and drink sales?
There were also more churches through these small towns than there were eating establishments. Perhaps they need to feed their souls more so than their bellies? Now that can't be true. Texans seem to ADORE going out to eat. On that note, apparently barbecue baked potatoes are a thing here. In true "everything is bigger in Texas" form, these BBQ Baked Potatoes are HUGE!
This is approximately the size of the BBQ Baked Potato I was introduced to - HUGE!
Two full scoops of meat over a meal-sized russet, plus any other toppings that suit your greasy fancy. If meat and potatoes are your thing, you can now have it smothered with barbecue sauce and cheese. Denver is all about their steak, for sure, but only in Texas would they look for more ingredients to induce a heart attack.
Now that we've settled into our temporary abode here, about an hour east of Houston, I believe I can safely summarize five common necessities of Texans.
5 Common Necessities of Texans
1) Trucks - Oy, do they love their pick-up trucks! And while Colorado is very well-known for having a large majority of SUVs and utility vehicles (Boulder in particular is known for its overwhelming number of Subaru Outbacks), Texas definitely leans towards the American-made, gas-guzzling pick-up. Now, it should be noted that most are not hauling anything, which either means it's a fad or people like having them in that once or twice a year instance where they would need a truck to haul something.
2) Beer - So much so that some parts of our family are wondering if we're related because I told them I don't like beer (mostly because I'm allergic to wheat). However, I did have to marvel at another "Oh, Texas" find: Wash-a-Beeria.
Please know the woman in the picture is not me, but she's translated my reaction pretty well.
That's right. A washateria, or laundromat, that offers food and, more importantly, beer. This seems like a neat way to make doing your laundry a little more eventful, but really? Someone's liable to shrink their sunday dress beyond decency with that kind of combination! Oh, Texas...
3) Guns - This one doesn't really bother me, as I was raised in Virginia, and have only ever lived in Colorado or Texas otherwise; all gun-friendly states. The only skills I was taught as a kid still ring true as Texan: riding horses and shooting rifles. But when every major establishment you walk into, including grocery stores, has a sign posted about the legality of bringing a loaded gun on to the premises, you know there is a standard here that is like none other. I won't lie, it's a little nerve-wracking.
4) Buffets - I'm not just talkin' about Golden Corral or Chinese buffets. They've gotten into a groove where everyone offers a buffet, especially for lunch. My husband and I visited the west side of Houston for a date day. We found an Indian restaurant that had good ratings, and wouldn't you know it, a lunch buffet. Don't get me wrong, it was good food, and a reasonable price. But... well... Oh, Texas...
5) Donuts - If there is anything Texans love most, it has got to be donuts. There are donut shops everywhere! Small town, down town, it doesn't matter. Mom 'n Pop, Shipley's, though no Krispy Kremes (well, not in the Houston area, anyway). This would be awesome, and fantastically indulgent, if not for my wheat allergy. But alas my desire to remain pain-free overrides my love of glazed donuts (which may well be one of my favorite things).
Maybe I can convince the donut-loving Texans to start making gluten-free options for us transplants? I think I could live in Texas if there were gluten-free glazed donuts available.
The only gluten-free glazed donuts I've ever been able to find, and they are sold frozen. Texas - your challenge has ben issued! Fresh, gluten-free donuts, available at your donut shops - GO!
But for now, I will just embrace the stares at Golden Corral when all I eat is the steak and salad.
