The Fool: Fearless, Wise, But Most Importantly...

The rule of three can be applied to many situations: timing in comedy, the structure of storytelling, and all good things, of course, come in threes. For me, hints from the Universe also make themselves known this way. Once is a dinner topic, but nothing of consequence. Twice is a coincidence, and an eye-opening one at that. But three? That's where the magic happens. That is when the message is finally clear enough to transform the recipient, and for the better, I believe.

My most recent message? It can be summarized by a single image...

The Fool tarot card from the Shadowscapes deck.
Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com 

I've been waiting a long time to do a blog about what I consider the most misunderstood of all the tarot characters: The Fool. With on-going inspiration from creative guru, Liz Gilbert, my current journey has finally brought into stark light why she is both an essential enigma and a symbol for our generation. We'll discuss how the meaning ripples into professional and social paradigms, but, for now, let's take a moment to consider how The Fool resonates with us on a personal level.

Classically, the Fool was seen as a simpleton. A wanderer who took risks, but did so without the burden of fear. This impish demeanor was mirrored by his ability to attract the loyalty of an equally unburdened soul, such as a dog (see the well-known Rider-Waite representation below), or the fox (pictured above in the more contemporary Shadowscapes deck). In fact, the Fool is purported to be so carefree that the basest fears from which an animal might suffer do not afflict it, thus why the animal marvels at her so - after all, even the dog can sense the danger of The Fool's position. Thus, the picture of a "classic fool" is all too often a victim of his own naivete; blissful, but doomed. It has only been in modern interpretations that the Fool was also seen as wise, perhaps even the wisest of them all.

The Fool from the classic Rider-Waite tarot deck.
Photo courtesy of Aeclectic Tarot.

I'd like to offer my own analysis for what The Fool truly represents: being proactive in one's own life.

Yes, The Fool is fearless. Yes, The Fool is certainly wise. But most importantly, the Fool is an active participant in her own life. She takes action. As much as we hate to admit it, we do not know what will happen from one moment to the next. No matter how we might plan or prepare, scrutinize or analyze, with great intentions or flippant feats, the world, as we experience it, is a mystery until we, well... experience it. The Fool knows this and chooses to embrace the unknown. She is seen by others as foolish because she does not show fear, but she knows that acting on any feelings of fear is wasteful. With this wisdom, her spirit is free; with this freedom, her joy knows no bounds.

In this case, "dealing with it" means do not prevent yourself from doing something just because you are afraid. Weigh and measure. Make a choice, don't let circumstances dictate your reaction. Meme courtesy of pinterest.com

The Fool is also about our participation in the divine mystery, of which the clues can only be sensed and interpreted through our intuition. Once we have connected with that small, still voice from within, the lesson of The Fool implores us to take action with unwavering faith. And that is why it seems folly from the outside. Because the Fool is listening to herself, to the divine source within herself. She allows herself to dance with the divine. Ultimately, this card is about observing versus acting. Observing leaves one feeling foolish, with judgment looming over head, as if a rain cloud prevents such movement. But acting has a way of silencing all other chatter to make clear the next steps. That is to say, how else do you learn how to dance than by first dancing?

Liz's delightful reminder that choosing to do something does not mean you have any investment in the outcome. Free yourself from the responsibility of results, and you experience a greater joy in the journey. Meme courtesy of relatably.com

In a professional environment, The Fool reminds us that we cannot possibly progress without risking failure. Or perhaps that was Ken Robinson in his most infamous TED Talk. In it, he said, "...kids will take a chance. If they don't know, they'll have a go. They're not frightened of being wrong." Thus, The Fool is child-like, but brilliant. As an adult, the lesson to take from both the iconic tarot card and Sir Robinson is, "If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original." With that being true, one cannot live creatively without being prepared to be wrong. Without being prepared to make mistakes.

Life is not linear. It's organic. 

- Ken Robinson

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this creative revolution. The recent video of the Mahomet Seymour High School girls' dance team to the poignant spoken-word song "What Room Does Fear Have?" is evidence of that. On a social level, I think it means we're ready to stop living in the shadows of our forebears and make the world anew. One can only hope that such a world will be both original and inspiring, and not seeded with the hate fear breeds. As Sir Ken Robinson proposed, with his education revolution, it starts with preparing our children for the unknown. This, I believe, starts with us embracing what scares us.

Quick Political Insert: If ever there was a sound argument for democratic socialism, it's that no one feels compelled to take risks when they risk everything for so little in return. I, for one, long for a day when the American Federal Government agrees that homelessness and bankruptcy is something it can easily protect every citizen from, not just terrorism (and we're suffering from the mentally ill in our own country more so than any attacks from "outsiders"). After all, if the majority of Americans are worrying about basic needs, such as food and shelter, then they don't have the time, energy, or resources to inform or educate themselves, allowing them to be active participants in the democratic process.

Personally, the lesson of The Fool has manifested so many times in my life, I'm surprised she hasn't become a spiritual patron. My martial arts training required physical exertion, which allowed for a profound quieting of the mind during my tumultuous teenage years. When I decided to go back to college in my twenties, I did so after giving myself breathing room to hear my own callings, which gave me the courage to move across the country, not to mention change schools and majors. Even now, at 35-years-old, as I'm "making it up as I go" with my husband, I hear the call, still. It says, Sitting and thinking about it never gets anything done. Keep going. You're not alone. Keep going. Just breathe. Keep going.

Even now, I get encouragement from my nearest and dearest...

Just Dance...
Just Start Walking...
Just Keep Going.

And so, I pass The Fool's message on to you - wherever you are in life, whatever you're doing or feeling, stop. Take a moment to silence the cries of fear, and ask your small, still voice -

What brings you joy?
What idea fills you with excitement?
What would you like to explore, without expectation of what may come of the expedition?

And then go about your life. The answers will come to you in their own time. And when those answers filter through and manifest into opportunities, take a chance. No need to quit your job and move across the country (though, it's not out of the realm of possibility). Just embrace the fear. Go on, give it a big, cuddly hug; like a giant stuffed bear that can't suffocate from the oodles of love you're about to infuse it with. And then? Enjoy the journey, my friend.

Because I don't know how my life will turn out, and I'm okay with that. Say it with me! "I don't know how my life will turn out, and I'm okay with that."
Meme courtesy of pinterest.com

Tell me - what has The Fool meant to you in past readings? What have you been afraid to do? Leave a comment and let me know!

And now... onward with the adventure!

*~K~*

P.S. - I would like to thank my friend Paul for his part in inspiring this post. Thanks for "just walking", man!

Intentions for the New Year: Visions for 2016

Astounding, isn't it, how time and information can rewrite all our intentions for the future? I started writing this blog entry not but three weeks ago, shortly after its predecessor, posted on January 11th, 2016. So much has changed in that time, I had to scratch it all and write anew. Luckily, I've also found encouraging outlooks for this upcoming year, and am quite excited for my challenges. Sure, it might not be as exciting or extreme as some, but I believe in calculated risks. Seeing as we're about to crest into the year of the Fire Monkey, I believe calculated risks are, in fact, the name of the game.

As a Capricorn, I often forget that my changes are slow, but deliberate, so as to avoid plummeting from the heights I refuse to stop climbing. I certainly got smacked down recently by trying to move too fast too soon.

One previous goal for this year was to attempt implantation, the final stage in In-Vitro Fertilization (read more about our struggle to have children here). Several factors will be delaying that goal, and I'm not entirely sure we're upset about it; in fact, we both seem more than a little relieved. This situation became complicated when it came time to pay for the annual embryo freezing. The embryos, currently being held in Colorado, were to be transferred to a nearby clinic (in Maryland) so that we could do implantation here. We were told that if we transferred them before January 30th, they would refund the annual freezing fee. So, of course, we scrambled to find a location. Luckily, one of the largest and most reliable fertility clinics is right down the street from us - Shady Grove Fertility. Unfortunately, they will not accept the transfer, citing that it would be safer if I flew back to Colorado for implantation. Complication number one.

Okay, so now we have to work with a facility in Maryland to prepare me (with hormones, thyroid monitoring, and pre-implantation tests) under the supervision and direction of my doctor in Colorado, which means we'll be, yet again, paying out of pocket for the majority of the work AND it's price has increased since we started this process in 2013, up to $4,500 from $3,300. Luckily, this time our insurance will simply see them as "out of network", which means there will be a limit to how much we might pay. My health insurance agent and I had to enroll me in a different health insurance policy to better suit my needs, since the one I chose is not cost effective and isn't accepted in either facility. But with all of this financial and insurance frustration, we found out that there is no rush - end complication number two (which took up so much of my free time and energy in the last week or so that I cannot attest to any other work being accomplished - no wonder some women become stay-at-home moms!).

Complication number three: My husband and I were under the impression that I should try to have children sooner than later, as I would have an increased risk of miscarrying the older I was when starting the process. However, after speaking with the fertility specialist here in Maryland, it does not matter how old the carrier is so long as the embryos are from a woman 35 years old or younger (i.e. the age of the embryos is the only one of concern). Seeing as I had them frozen when I was 32, then we are effectively safe. In fact, the biggest risk to our success right now is my Body Mass Index (BMI). Mine, unfortunately, is at least 33, and the doctor would prefer it to be closer to 25 - which means loosing about 60 lbs. So, it would make sense to wait in any possible case in order to reduce my BMI before attempting implantation. However, I cannot create a workout routine (or a regular eating and sleeping habit, for that matter), until I get a job. This particular complication may work itself out, as it has already begun.

My husband and I have both agreed that the smartest thing for me to do would be to find massage work so that I may continue to work on my own projects. It'll be easier to find work as a massage therapist, it would allow me to start working sooner than later, and I could make a decent amount with only three or four days a week, as opposed to any other full-time work, which would demand five days a week. I'm not even thinking twice about it because I'm just so excited for my other projects. Now that my time is dedicated to reducing my BMI instead of jumping into pregnancy, I can also take the time to challenge myself as a filmmaker.

You see, most of my work in film school was helping other people complete their projects. Sometimes my work can be seen in the audio/visual medium, but, for the most part, the quality of my work is not reflected in the quality of the final product. Though this has made me keenly aware that I should start making available my strip boards and budget breakdowns for people to see first-hand what I do, it has also made me realize - I need a comprehensive reel. As Jim Carrey so astutely put it, "You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

All that said, I've dreamt up a challenge for myself, but I'm not ready to share it yet. I believe the work speaks for itself, and I'm getting ready to do the work. When the work is done, I will assuredly share it. But for now, no pressure, just following my curiosity so that I may be stronger and more prepared to dare. Now, I know this all seems a bit scatter-brained, but it all came together into two major challenges, and one hope, for 2016: create a habit of working out and nutrition in order to loose weight, make more films to add to my reel, and then our hope is to travel internationally before the end of the year. Yes, implantation is in our future, but for now we have to relinquish our illusion of control over when it will happen.

For those of you who have already finished Liz Gilbert's podcast (assigned from the previous blog post), I invite you to listen to her talk on Oprah's Super Soul Sessions. I am one of those people Liz talks about who has so many different interests and who is so good at so many things that I meander, and I often look at myself like 'what's wrong with me'. A career has never interested me, though owning my own business has always interested me. It is comforting, however, to hear someone else say it's okay to meander because at least you are still searching for your vocation, your calling. At least you have interests, and who cares what they amount to. Embracing my life's work has been my guiding star, regardless of how long it takes me. Thank you, Ms. Gilbert, for articulating exactly what is NOT wrong with people like me. By the way, I am also a Monkey, so it's no wonder I'm jazzed for the upcoming year - it's my year to shine! May this also be a year where my Capricorn and Monkey tendencies can finally work together. For those of you who may be Monkeys as well, this is supposed to be the year where you set your intentions for the next twelve years, so feel free to evaluate and re-evaluate what you want your future to look like. I know I will be!

Should you be interested in your own forecast for the Year of the Fire Monkey, I highly recommend Suzanne White's 2016 New Astrology Horoscopes - they are "new" because she combines both the Chinese and Western astrology types. It's just enough information to satiate one's curiosity but not so much where one might obsessively read the forecast for every waking moment. As for me, I eagerly look forward to what I can do with this opportunity of time and intention. First step? Keep up with my daily workout routine so I have the energy to play!

What are your intentions for the New Year? Where have you found inspiration?

As Liz would say, let's keep the conversation going!
Cheers,
*~K~*