PART THREE: The Self-Education of a Free-Spirited, Not-Quite-Novice Filmmaker

The final stretch! Or at least the last of the reflections. There will be one final blog post to compare lessons from an MBA to those found in these 10 TED Talks. For those of you who have not read the previous two parts, my introduction:

As a only child, I've been an observer of human behavior and interaction all my life. Such a self-imposed role has a way of leading one to believe themselves more knowledgeable than those who live through the scenarios being observed. Debatable, sure, but I believe my continued education cannot contain simply absorbed information; I must also digest the concepts and put it back out into the world. Any of my professors would tell you that I was always very engaged in class discussions, with no shortage of opinions and unsolicited advice. With no classroom currently available to me, however, I've decided to record my thoughts in this blog based on certain recommended TED Talks.

An article in the Business Insider claimed these 10 TED Talks are worth more than an MBA. Seeing as I love listening to TED Talks and desperately want to pursue my graduate degree, I figured what do I have to loose? Also, while the content I'm reflecting on is geared towards those seeking a Masters in Business Administration and I am simply a Filmmaker seeking a Masters... of something... eventually... I fully intend to own and run my own studio during my lifetime, so I figure the free online education should supplement my aspirations nicely.

To keep a homework-like structure, I'll respond to each video as I see them. Please assume that I will be writing as if you, the reader, have already watched the video.

8) Mike Brady and Dion Drew: Hiring the Unemployable

Info-graphic courtesy of ctbenefitcorp.com

First of all, this concept is so moving to me that it is almost making me a little intimidated to think of what it would take to own and operate a business so profoundly impactful on the lives of my employees. Blimey, it's paralyzing to think of the risks involved starting a business, much less being so successful as to invite more risk. And yet, I'm compelled to know why we haven't explored this option before and why so few companies are Benefit Corporations.

I only just learned of what a Benefit Corporation is when Kickstarter became a Benefit Corporation recently. I read through it and the general premise seemed benign - why wouldn't a corporation report on its ecological and social impacts as a measure of success? But as I listened to this TED Talk, I realized that what I stumbled across was the lovechild of for-profit and non-profit business models. What a great idea - asking companies to consider, measure, reflect, and improve their impact on the environment, their communities, and their causes. For-profit companies all too often have a placeholder charity to mimic what amounts to socially acceptable, and professionally expected, charity donations. But how often can they show the true impact of their efforts? Could they prove their efforts made a difference? When customers and shareholders want to see an investment beyond monetary, Benefit Corporations save the day, and maybe even a little part of our souls. This feels like a collective effort to put the breaks on the idea that being in business means we have to sell out or check out; that we either have to sacrifice our moral fortitude to do what we must to survive the corporate grind, or get trampled by our hesitation to relinquish our integrity. Why must we choose one or the other?

Info-graphic courtesy of www.sse.gov.on.ca

Due to the recent trip of Pope Francis to the United States, I'm particularly riled about this subject. I won't go into details, but I will share with you my short social media rant that was sparked by those who immediately criticized what the pontiff had to say:

"I'm at a loss for words... I'm not even Catholic, but I love this guy. He reminds us to regularly employ and exercise our humanity. He has broadcast a "Compassionate Call-to-Arms", and I, for one, intend to answer the call. Even if someone were not compelled to become active in improving their communities, states, or country, it would at least stand to reason that someone with opposing views would stop for a moment and consider: The Pope has no investment in the outcome of our country. That is to say, while he may have some investment in those who are Catholic and American, and he's certainly concerned for people on the whole, he looses nothing, should we listen or should we ignore him. And that alone should perk up your ears and make you wonder - what's so important? What's so important that he would take the trip overseas to plead to us for OUR OWN well-being? As a massage therapist, I know all too well this interaction, and what makes it impactful to the listener is realizing that they are giving you unsolicited advice. Couple the fact that he is a spiritual leader, a man of honor whose actions mirror his sentiments, and the fact that he is giving freely his time and energy to advocate for what he feels is right - yeah, that warrants a moment's pause and appropriate reflection. Anything less makes you a yapping dog. Before you open your yap, reflect and respond with a well-thought-out rebuttal. He deserves that much."

Similarly, I give far more credence to a company whose goals for economic, ecological, and social improvement are all held accountable by a third party so that those intentions cannot be abused and used solely for promotional purposes. It's unsolicited transparency, and that's the best kind.

I do see one potential abuse with this premise, however: religious fanatics claiming "Benefit Corporation" status as another way to exclude people from their business. Let us remember that our "religious freedom" does not give anyone the right to discriminate; you can, however, tell someone you believe they will be going to hell as you serve them their food. As long as the corporation is being monitored to make sure they are not intentionally discriminating against anyone, I think this may be one of the most brilliant ideas to come from our generation.

Here's a great reference for the differences between corporations. Info-graphic courtesy of www.spcwa.com

9) Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

Info-graphic courtesy of buildalittlebiz.com

I've definitely seen this one before, and it always leaves me a little misty. But let's move on to her points, and she's got several.

In my experience, connection is a huge part of our existence as humans. It's easy to see how connection applies in our personal lives, but it is equally applicable in our professional lives. With the United States shifting away from a product-based economy and into a service-based economy, the quality of our customer service, with our ability to connect with our clients, is paramount. This connection, I agree with Ms. Brown, can only be achieved through authenticity. We are now easily turned off by sales agents who feed us insincere, scripted lines in an effort to satisfy goals imposed on them by their companies who threaten "make it work or loose your income". What kind of environment, nay a clientele, do you invite with such an ultimatum? A hostile environment, and a disengaged clientele. Accepting that "no" is a viable answer for your clients is a great way to earn their trust, but also take the unnecessary pressure off of employees to somehow change clients' minds.

BLAME: A way to discharge pain and discomfort.

Similarly, if the environment is hostile, with punishment an assured result of failure, then an employee will more likely keep that failure to themselves. It creates a shame culture that perpetuates bad behavior and poor performance because it does not encourage improvement. Brown surmises that vulnerability is at the heart of shame. So how do we work past shame so that we may interact honestly? I believe we must invite the vulnerability of others. To expect vulnerability without offering it in return seems dubious at best. But to offer your truth shows your vulnerability and it invites vulnerability in return. There's no guarantee, however, that vulnerability will follow. For me, this is where courage must be embraced in order to continue being vulnerable: confront those who would attack your vulnerability. When attacked, I would advise you to not retaliate, but confront. This will, again, invite them to join you in an authentic exchange, which can become an authentic relationship.

It is appreciated that Brown applies her findings to our current social, religious, and political state. I totally agree that we'd respect people a lot more if they just took a moment, admit they were wrong, and then make an effort to remedy the mistake. Watching instead those who are fearful turn "everything that is uncertain, certain" is upsetting and disheartening. Discourse should be the safe space where people can grow, reflect, and develop ideas, not shutting down and blocking out ideas. In this way, I am very grateful for my upbringing. My mother always encouraged honesty and requested that I talk with her, even if it was uncomfortable. Now, no one is perfect, and sometimes you can't speak honestly immediately; feelings and being able to articulate those feelings are two entirely different beasts. But even being forthright about not being able to articulate your feelings yet is better than shutting down and letting fear rule. No, we're not perfect, but practicing vulnerability is a great journey with joyous rewards.

Info-graphic courtesy of americanexpress.tumbler.com

10) Yves Morieux: How Too Many Rules at Work Keep You From Getting Things Done

For this one, you have to go directly to Ted.com to see the video. This seems, to me, the only TED Talk about our system of management. I imagine with any generation, there are certain expectations. Creating clarity, accountability, and measurement in the workplace seems second-nature in business today. Part of that expectation is because companies are expected to report their findings to their shareholders or to the banks that finance their company. So, is it our system of management that is inefficient, or our system of financing companies? A circular argument, I'm sure. The real question is - how do we improve efficiency? I believe the answer lies in our hiring practices and in our retention of employees. I've also been watching a series of videos on Lynda.com called Small Business Secrets. The subject of hiring is particularly interesting. Apparently, human resources, which overseas hiring, is the most expensive cost a small business can have, so it is imperative that small businesses take their time when hiring. Rushing to employ someone who either performs poorly, quits or is terminated too soon, can sink a ship before it reaches the sea.

Just as Morieux is saying that constant monitoring slows down the process, so too does hiring someone ill-suited to the role. If you hire someone competent and ready to get involved, which you should be able to decipher from the hiring process, then little monitoring should be necessary. Similarly, if the company is geared toward retaining employees, not using them up and tossing them out, then I believe trust and loyalty emerges, and it goes both ways; employees trust each other and their managers because the managers have invited their trust. A friend of mine once told me that the way he gets his employees to do what he wants is by asking them, not commanding them. This way they don't feel bossed but rather invited. It also gives employees the opportunity to maybe suggest something better, which refers back to an idea posed in TED Talk #5 from this article - see my reflection on that talk in PART TWO. 

Retention of employees also hinges on providing them with something more than just money. Both the Small Business Secrets series and my own personal experience has told me that benefits and compensation of time and energy is rarely satisfying to be simply monetary and health-related. Tuition reimbursement, paid training, paid time off, even the opportunity to have monthly pot-luck lunches has boosted my own enjoyment of my work because it showed my employers genuinely cared about my satisfaction at work. Money is not the only way to value your employees' time, and health care is not the only support they need.

Ultimately, the greatest message from Morieux, in my opinion, is we must examine and improve our system of productivity, not the people in the system. This mentality seems a great way to invite innovation, but also keeps fresh the question of efficiency. For example, recently at work I submitted an expense report for travel. There were two parts to it, however; cash that needed to be refunded from student spending and money owed to one of the faculty members. The middleman who approves the report before it is seen by an auditor asked why I didn't just repay the faculty member with the cash, arguing that it was easier on their end. The concern, as it was posed to me, was "what do I tell an auditor if s/he has a question about what happened". Well, since I clearly resolved each issue individually, the answer to any questions is also clear. If I had taken the initiative to pay the faculty member first, then answering those questions becomes a lot more difficult AND if the charges are not approved, then the faculty member would be responsible for a refund that could have been avoided by doing... exactly what I did. This example shows how I learned of her need for efficiency, but she also got to see how her need for efficiency would have created more work and questions of ethics besides. But because the nature of our confrontation was focused on the system, not on the person, we were able to improve efficiency, regardless of who is doing the work.

Well, this is the end of PART THREE. Stay tuned! I'll be doing one final blog to delve into what is involved with an MBA and how that relates specifically to the lessons of these 10 TED Talks. 

But let me finish with these questions for you:

1) What was your reaction to these videos?
2) Could you identify with the concepts? Why or why not?
3) How is this relevant to Business Administration or Entrepreneurship?

Leave your comments below! As Liz Gilbert would say, "Let's keep the conversation going!"

Cheers,
*~K~*

I'm Free!... From the Hospital

What a trial, having children. Ours more than most, due to my recent Borderline Ovarian Cancer diagnosis. For the past four years, my husband and I have had to duel with the possibility that we may never have children. It is only by our wills, and the kind, generous involvement of family, friends, and friends of friends, that we were able to afford In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) through an online crowdfunding campaign. But the struggle did not end with egg extraction and embryo freezing. No, when the likelihood that a tumor will return is assured, every oncologist prefers to eliminate all possibilities; both ovaries had to be removed.

My OBGYN did not inform me of my first 15cm cyst. I found
out the hard way with extreme pain and a visit to the ER.
Keeping up with your annual "Women's Wellness Check-up"
is the least we can all do to prevent Ovarian tumors from
claiming our lives.

We knew this two years ago when we begged my gynecological oncologist to save my one remaining ovary so we could attempt IVF, and banked on it as we successfully stored 13 frozen embryos; but we did not foresee any complications with the final surgery. After all, removing my last ovary and starting Hormone Replacement Therapy, so I don't start menopause at age 34, should be the easy part. Keeping the oven on, as it were, shouldn't be difficult. Of course, Murphy would have no part of it. He'd rather see our last surgery as the most difficult (though, least expensive *knock on wood*), including a post-surgical infection and unsightly scarring, before we even attempt to deal with the thrills of actually conceiving and delivering said children.

But, as my husband likes to say, "we'll have quite a story to tell our children!" True, love, true. Here's the latest episode in "Karen & Quentin have children":

A lovely reminder at my Gynecological Oncologist's office.

My laparoscopic surgery to remove my right, and final, ovary, which already had two 2cm cysts, was scheduled for Monday, July 20th, 2015. My mother, who had graciously dropped everything to be available for the first two surgeries and some part of the recovery afterwards, had made arrangements to fly out for the final occasion. My mother-in-law, whom my husband and I have been living with for the past year, agreed to supervise me during recovery, while my Aunt would join my mother and my husband in the waiting room. With little concern for the final surgery, and the growing number of people becoming involved, I decided to lighten the occasion by cheerfully referring to everyone as the "Waiting Room Party" (in the spirit of a "Wedding Party", not as in a celebration). We did make time for a dinner out the weekend before, to a lovely nearby Japanese Steakhouse with habachi - my favorite. However, this round of surgery, while highly anticipated, was also the most populated and the most ignored. We all kind of figured it was old hat, and with two previous successful surgeries, we knew how to handle it. My mother, perhaps because of distance and her inability to be of direct help was the only one who stopped to ask "what if", and she was right to ask. But we shrugged it off and moved on unprepared. It's amazing how diligence dissipates with the absence of the urgency of emergency.

My husband and I at the "Waiting Room Party" celebration
at the Japanese Steakhouse - July 18, 2015.

As part of registration for surgery, a representative from the hospital typically calls. S/he will confirm details, including, but not limited to, allergies, medications, and, most importantly, expected out-of-pocket cost upon checking in for a scheduled surgery. We were called by the doctor about a week before hand to arrange her direct payment and shift the time of the appointment, later by an hour or so, so we saw it as a boon. However, we never received a call from the hospital, not even from the anesthesiologist, who usually calls to ensure you know you'll be paying for their services separately. By the time I thought to call them, there was no one there - only emergency services over the weekend. I dropped the ball.

We arrive early for my scheduled surgery, and I nearly walk right over an elderly man in the waiting room (I'm still waiting to karmically apologize to him) to check in and find out what happened. Their explanation? They didn't have my phone number. I'm sorry, WHAT? Yes, apparently the appointment was only made four days before the scheduled surgery, despite the fact that I had made the appointment with my gynecological oncologist two weeks before surgery. But even with the time difference, it didn't occur to anyone to make sure they had my phone number? Hospital drops the ball.

My eldest kitty, Isa (yes, she's a female orange tabby), always knows
 when I'm not feeling well. She's been with us through the previous
 two surgeries and each time she finds a place close by to keep me company.

Luckily, the nurses took good care of me, making sure my least favorite part of surgery - the dreaded IV - was not another communion with the Matrix. Even the anesthesia was amazing. I felt so good when I woke up that I was able to shuffle myself to the bathroom and back so I wouldn't be forced to use a bedpan. They gave me another round of IV painkillers so I could make the 90-minute drive back to the Dayton House. But that's the last time I would feel "good" for another three weeks. Partly because I would start oxycodone that night, and I hate oxy. One of the side effects of oxycodone is bloating, which puts pressure on the abdomen, precisely the area that needs relief after abdominal surgery. I'm perpetually uncomfortable while on oxy, so no matter what pain it subsides, I'm still miserable until I can stop taking it. But my health also continually declined because this was the first time my sutures were around my navel, a difficult place to both see and keep clean.

The two previous surgeries both had the robot arms (characteristic of laparoscopic surgery) going through the top part of my abdomen, which meant that observing, and caring for, the previous wounds were easier. The previous surgeries also used dissolvable sutures, which took the guess work out of whether or not the wound had healed. Finally, and most importantly, we always went home with wound care instructions. For the record, wound care differs for dissolvable sutures, so this surgery, without dissolvable sutures and without specific wound care instructions, seems doomed to have a post-surgical infection. I just didn't know to be worried about it because it had never been an issue before and, frankly, my doctor and I never talked about what she was going to do differently. I didn't know about the navel suture until I read the brochure she left me with, which did not address "difficult to clean" and "signs of infection". Of course, when I was finally hospitalized for it, my doctor says, "It happens", which is professional speak for "I will not assume any responsibility for it occurring". But I'm skipping ahead.

I get to the Dayton House, and I'm doing ok. I'm only taking 800 MG of Ibuprofen during the day, and oxy at night, which means I'm not sleeping through the night yet and having to eat every four hours to take my dose. I'm still mobile, but as my post-op appointment the following Tuesday approaches, I'm feeling more tender, and less bold. At my post-op appointment, my doctor looks at the navel suture, and declares I have a superficial infection. She then prescribes a generic oral antibiotic, and says I should call her if the redness increases. Well, it's not like I have her cell phone number, and calling her office means she won't get back to me for another 24 hours. We also couldn't tell if the redness was increasing, only that there was redness. But two days later, we could definitely tell that my temperature was increasing. By this point I'm only taking the 800 MG of Ibuprofen every 8 hours, for which I was relieved, but even with the Ibuprofen as a fever reducer, my temperature topped at 101.7 degrees by Thursday night, 10 days after surgery. It wasn't until the bleeding/oozing from the suture started that we decided to go to the Emergency Room. Doctor drops the ball.

The redness after cleaning the wound the night
after my post-surgical check up, Tuesday.

My in-laws are kind enough to drive me to the ER with my husband in the back checking in with me. The hand towel, kindly donated by my in-laws, is quickly becoming soaked with blood, but it's not just blood. There is an odor, and I report as such during the whole ride: "It's not just blood. Can you smell it? It smells terrible. It's not just blood." We get to the Baytown ER about 30 minutes later. They bring out a dysfunctional wheelchair for my comfort, then interview me to understand how immediate my needs are. Not so immediate, it would seem. We arrived at approximately 10:45pm, but were not taken back to see a doctor until 4am. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I was told to go ahead and take my 11pm dose of Ibuprofen. This was good because it helped to suppress my fever and make me feel better, which I already was. After soaking through the in-laws towel, the hospital gave me another one, which I soaked halfway through fairly quickly. They gave me a dressing for the wound at about midnight or so, at which point the oozing had mostly stopped, and my fever subsided. However, while I was feeling better, the doctor pointed out that the infection was most certainly still there, and some indicator of that was my fever. "But my fever is gone", I said, not considering all the reasons it might be gone. "Yes", she agreed, but only to concede the fact, "but you took Ibuprofen, which could be the reason for the lack of fever." Huh. Ok. Now what?

The redness after to oozing stopped, 

at the ER about 4 a.m. on July 31st, 

2015 - the Blue Moon.

"Because this is a post-surgical infection, we prefer to let your doctor, who did the surgery, treat the patient. She can meet you at Houston Northwest, and we're prepared to have an ambulance transfer you there." I'm sorry, what?
"Do I really need an ambulance? I mean, we drove here. Can't we just drive ourselves there?"
Her concern for me was very convincing: "Well, you could, but you'd have to wait in the ER there, and we don't know how long that would take. Plus, we'd like to start you on an Antibiotic IV here, and we can't do that if you aren't taking the ambulance." Ok... four hours ago you weren't this concerned.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, how much is this going to cost? We've been told by family that it could cost up to $2,000."
Almost scoffing, "Ha. Honestly, I don't know how much it will cost you, but that figure sounds like someone who asked for an ambulance and didn't need one. If I, your doctor, am telling you you need an ambulance, then not only should you do it, but I'm confident that your health insurance will not charge you so much if they understand that you need it."

My view at Houston Northwest after being
delivered from Baytown's ER. All things
considered, it was a very nice room.

And with that level of conviction, we couldn't say no. Q&I took our first necessary ambulance ride from about 5-6am on Friday, July 31st, 2015 - the Blue Moon (let it be known that from now on, I will see future Blue Moons with a heavy heart and a wary eye - if "once in a Blue Moon", I get to ride in an ambulance, then I'm not looking forward to the next one). With the transfer from one hospital to another, they were able to prepare a room for me. After being delivered straight into my "room" for the weekend, we tried to rest, but frequent interruptions defeated our efforts. To add discomfort to an already upsetting evening, I hadn't been allowed to eat during the course of the night.

Hospital swag with my vanity and

bathroom in the background.

Originally, we had a CT scan scheduled for that day elsewhere, but due to the hospitalization, my doctor figured to do it there. But because of the impending CT scan, I wasn't allowed to eat... which started at the ER, at 10:45pm. By the next day, I was hungry and tired and mostly out of it. My doctor didn't arrive until midday, and my CT scan started around 3pm. After that, I was allowed to resume my "normal diet", whatever that is. Hospital food, while well-rounded, gets old quickly. It took me weeks before I'd be willing to eat mashed potatoes again.

A neat little device they give
you to practice breathing so
you don't develop pneumonia.
More people need this just for
daily use!

Nothing showed up on the scan, except the infection, which was a relief. However, this now meant I was required to stay at the hospital for fourty-eight hours on IV Antibiotics and under observation. If I was without fever during that time, then I would be allowed to go home. But what should have ended Sunday night was extended until Monday night due to the Wound Care Nurse, of which there was only one. She left at 3pm on Friday and wouldn't be back until Monday, and my doctor wouldn't discharge me until the WCN saw me. Interestingly enough, it was the WCN who gave me the wound care instructions, and another nurse who gave my husband a tutorial, so he could be my regular at-home nurse. When did wound care become so mysterious that it requires a specialization? But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Friday night was the worst. I was finally able to eat, but I could hardly eat anything. I was in the same clothing from the ER, and it had turned crusty from leaked bloody puss from the ER, and had started to small of terrible cheddar. And to make matters worse, Q hadn't gotten any sleep, so he went home that night. He helped me shower and change before he left - there was no sleeping with that awful cheddar smell. And it's good that he left so he could bring me back a change of clothing on Saturday. But that night I had a terrible time sleeping. Finally, I had to ask the overnight nurse to switch the IV to the other arm, as the needle and apparatus in my right arm was so uncomfortable that I could not sleep. Also, the IV was in my good vein, the one everyone likes using for drawing blood, but with the IV in place, they were forced to try to find less inviting vains to poke at at four in the morning.

They finally switched my IV onto my left side
so they could draw blood from my right side,
which is my biggest and best vein.

Ok, I'm sorry, I know it's getting gross. Here, let's skip to the end...
Visitors, clean clothes, walks around the hospital, 4:00 a.m. conversations with disgruntled nurses who are moving on to become a Realtor instead, and late nights watching Arrow, Season 1 (again). But most importantly, NO FEVER! But, I did get a rash. There was no telling what started it, so my doctor switched my hormones (HRT) from the patch to a pill. I seem to be doing okay, but when I first started reacting, it just felt like a sunburn... for a hospital patient in bed most of the day with little access to sunlight, much less sunlight just on my back. Weird, huh?

Hospital selfie...

But I was discharged the following Monday, after a lovely weekend stay at Chez Houston Northwest, with plenty of hospital S.W.A.G. - who knew hospitals gave out swag? Weird. And what was my first meal after my liberation? Two crunchy tacos from Taco Bell. I know, it's terrible. But after hospital food, it's delicious. Unfortunately, I was scheduled to return to work the next day, but had to extend my recovery time due to the infection. My supervisor and I were able to work it out, but it was not a vacation by any means. I even had to have an at-home nurse come by, do the wound care, and discharge me before they sent me back to work.

Flowers and chocolates from
my stepfather in Guam. Love
the bright colors!

Now, I'm back at work, mobile, and (mostly) pain-free, but I still can't workout until the wound has healed up entirely (though, that's mostly due to timing). As far as I'm concerned, everybody involved dropped the ball going into surgery, including (and perhaps especially) myself. I'm mostly upset with the hospital, with my doctor in a close second. Now, with my first post-surgical infection, we're scrambling to get back into the "if I don't ask, they'll never tell me" mode, so that we can prevent future hospitalizations. The wound started at 6cm deep and has now receded to 2.5cm (approximately). I have a follow up with my doctor on Sept. 9th.

My husband has been a particularly big help as my relief nurse, handling the "wound care" demonstrated by several nurses. My Aunt was kind enough to visit me in the hospital during my weekend away. A great big THANK YOU is owed to my in-laws, who drove me to the Emergency Room, visited me in the hospital, housed us during this recovery period, and kept me fed and medicated, as prescribed. You'd be surprised how hard it is to keep someone fed who mostly sleeps, plays SimCity, and has an infection which turns off that sensor that says, "I need food!" Finally, I have to thank my mother, who has been sending me daily e-cards to lift my spirits, and my step-father, who sent flowers and chocolate to brighten my recovery period.

My Isa acting as a heating pad after I
returned home from Houston Northwest.

While it was comforting to think that the next time my husband and I would be struggling to sleep comfortably in a hospital room overnight, we'd be doing it to deliver our first child, it is not comforting to think I'll have to do all of that again voluntarily.



***Sept. 20th UPDATE: Two months later, and all is healed up. The medical bills are still trickling in, but we were well prepared to pay for them out-of-pocket. Now, we are looking forward to moving into our own place by the end of the year and starting out family next year. Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers!

PART TWO : The Self-Education of a Free-Spirited, Not-Quite-Novice Filmmaker

For those of you whom have already read PART ONE, the introduction may seem repetitive, but it's to keep everyone on the same page moving forward.

As a only child, I've been an observer of human behavior and interaction all my life. Such a self-imposed role has a way of leading one to believe themselves more knowledgeable than those who live through the scenarios being observed. Debatable, sure, but I believe my continued education cannot contain simply absorbed information; I must also digest the concepts and put it back out into the world. Any of my professors would tell you that I was always very engaged in class discussions, with no shortage of opinions and unsolicited advice. With no classroom currently available to me, however, I've decided to record my thoughts in this blog based on certain recommended TED Talks.

An article in the Business Insider claimed these 10 TED Talks are worth more than an MBA. Seeing as I love listening to TED Talks and desperately want to pursue my graduate degree, I figured what do I have to loose? Also, while the content I'm reflecting on is geared towards those seeking a Masters in Business Administration and I am simply a Filmmaker seeking a Masters... of something... eventually... I fully intend to own and run my own studio during my lifetime, so I figure the free online education should supplement my aspirations nicely.

To keep a homework-like structure, I'll respond to each video as I see them. Please assume that I will be writing as if you, the reader, have already watched the video.

Today, we start with...

4) Srikumar Rao: Plug Into Your Hard-Wired Happiness

Photo courtesy of pkmenon.com

 My first thought while watching this video was: I'm sure I've seen this before. Like I said, I love TED Talks, and some of the first ones helped me to recognize how I could make the leap to go back to school. At the time, I had taken a couple of community college courses, both in subject matters I was passionate about - film and psychology. I did remarkably well, which encouraged me to seek my degree in Colorado (which was a huge leap from Northern Virginia). But to my surprise, and the delight of most, it was exactly what I needed. I discovered, or perhaps rediscovered, my vitality by diving into this process, this "journey", as Mr. Sao puts it. And I wished I could say I was so energized by my current "journey". With my medical issues - Borderline Ovarian Cancer has required three surgeries in the past four years and a round of egg extraction for my husband and I to attempt implantation in the near future - and the financial burden that accompanies them, it's been difficult to say, "I'm happy with the process". I'm quite done with this process, thankyouverymuch, and I'd like to switch to a different path now. It is assuredly one of the reasons I assigned myself this reflection blog task; I had to do something to embrace where I am right now, no matter how many other things suck about it. It's a bit like how the coldest part of the day is right before the sun rises - I know change is on the horizon, but as change approaches, I'm only getting colder.

As it applies to what an MBA might teach you, I think it's meant to keep the typical competitive mindset of business people in check, as that "If, then" logic can degrade one's emotional satisfaction. I wonder if that is why the discussion and evolution of "corporate culture" has become the focus of so many burgeoning companies. 

5) David Marquet: How Great Leaders Serve Others

Photo courtesy of Pinterest.com

Oh, man... this is a great story, but I sincerely wonder how it currently influences the hierarchical workflow for the military. Let me explain. I trained in martial arts intensely for about 6 years, starting before high school when I thought I wanted to be a law enforcement officer, stretching beyond high school when I had begun working as a professional theater technician. Understandably, most of the people I trained with were military or police, due to being raised in the D.C. area. Even my Grand Master was/is/will always be a Marine. On several occasions we'd take class time to discuss concepts surrounding the physical discipline, and often it would reflect the mindset imparted by the military. The lesson that stands out to me as I listened to Marquet's talk was one about how "the shit falls down". That is to say, when something goes wrong, everyone from the position that made the decision and below them will be held responsible. This is why a commanding officer will allow his subordinates to make the decision, so if s/he's wrong, then there would still be someone above them, a higher ranking officer, who can solve the problem and clean up the mess. However, Marquet's assertion is even more radical - let your subordinates make the decisions because it innately invites them to step up their game, encouraging critical thinking instead of compliance. This is revolutionary for the traditional military commander.

Interestingly, I've seen it in action in theatre as well. My high school theatre program was extraordinary, due to, in large part, the standards we were held to by our director. She engaged each department by making them do everything themselves. The set, lighting, and costume designs were all done by the students. We made costumes instead of renting or buying them. We built and painted our own sets, including extended stages, sometimes with multiple levels, which means it had to be weight-bearing. We had so many extras that we filled the stage, and students as the choreographers. We even gave the heads of departments the liberty to solicit the classes for extra advice or labor when the art department or costume department needed help, which fostered collaboration - the relinquishing of power to us was then passed on to others outside the theater, which strengthened our performance through collaboration. We were given responsibility and opportunity as if we were already legal adults, and we not only met the challenge, but exceeded it. The last spring musical we did was Oliver!, where we had all three shows sold-out, which is no small feat for a house that seats 1100 people, and the most common question was, "Who did you hire to be your lead actors?" because they couldn't believe they were students. You see, we knew even then that if we all did our parts to make the production the best it could be, it would improve every other aspect as well. And it did.

But all that changed my senior year when a new director took charge. It was night and day. She could not conceive of high school students doing anything we had already demonstrated that we could do, so she started making rules that revolved around the idea that she knew better. Suddenly, following orders was more important than encouraging leadership in each individual. And you know the worst part? We, the seniors, came back three years later to see the students we knew as freshman, now as seniors for the spring musical. It was pitiful - unfinished sets, basic lighting schemes, poor use of stage areas, and, worst of all, the actors seemed dispassionate. When every single person on stage is not engaged in the façade, then no one in the audience can suspend their disbelief long enough to enjoy the show. The results of poor leadership was obvious, and it was heartbreaking to witness how quickly our beloved theater had unraveled.

My experience in business often reflects this time in theater. The best managers I've ever had were more interested in empowering me by using my strengths rather than discipline my weaknesses in order to have me fit every aspect of the job description. When I was in massage school, I worked at Borders Books. After the first three months, it became obvious that my strength was not shelving but establishing an order of my own. So, my supervisor decided I should help the marketing department with displays, sidelines, and its inventory. I went from what appeared to be a problem child to an integral part of the team, whom they relied upon to know my area. I'm not sure I have a desire to receive an MBA, but I am totally on board with this idea. I've seen it in practice time and again, and I can attest to the benefits of empowering employees.


6) Ramsey Musallam: 3 Rules to Spark Learning

Meme courtesy of thewiredhomeschool.com

Yes, yes, and yes. I was raised by an educator. My mother, even before her Masters in Adult Education, was a great educator and orator. And I can tell you, hands down, the best way to engage a hungry mind is to ask questions and invite them to FIGURE IT OUT. That's not to say they can't have help or ask questions of their own. But encouraging the learning process (bouncing off of what Mr. Rao) and not the outcome, can render unexpected results, sometimes to an amazing degree.
During my philosophy class this past summer, it came up several times that to ask questions is far more powerful than to provide answers. This concept also seems to be geared more towards the philosophical mind, and not the aforementioned "fixed mindset" that became commonplace with the industrialization model of education (refer to the first TED Talk with Ms. Dwerk and the previous BLOG Post where I discuss her ideas). Truth be told, I have such a passion for this mentality that I both want to pursue my Doctorate beyond the Masters degree and then teach on the collegiate level. It is very possible that most students need this kind of engagement early on, but I'm not sure I'm the one who can do it. I feel I'm better suited to adults, young and old.

It's very possible, however, that this advice is also geared towards educators for themselves. That is to say that the process of educating, not just learning, is itself not a static process. It must change and adapt to the students, and therefore educators must embrace their own mess, not just the mess their students bring. This all seems to add up to something that I advocate to everyone everywhere just as often as I can - keep your feedback cycle active. That is to say, don't just open yourself up to learn something and then shut down your ability to listen and respond afterwards. You must be able to listen and respond continuously so that what you do and how you educate is appropriate for each situation. This feedback cycle is necessary in any relationship, including manager/employee, intimate relationships, and teacher/student. As for reflection, well that just makes sense. Once you're done with the process, it's nice to have a summary so you can absorb the lesson and move on to the next one. Yep... I'm all sorts of on board for this one.

7) Linda Cliatt-Wayman: How to Fix a Broken School? Lead Fearlessly, Love Hard

Photo courtesy of Pinterest.com

It's the only one so far for which I had to pull out a tissue. But let's skip straight to my reactions and my thoughts before I pull out another hanky.

First - As someone who often assumes a leadership role, I totally identified with the idea that you must be consistent, no matter how people may or may not like you. "If you're gonna lead, lead." Hell yes. Your role in their lives has little to do with whether or not they like you. Hell, when I went to college the first time, I told my roommate that I didn't know how to share a room because I was an only child, but that it was my intention, regardless of whether or not we could become friends, to at least not become another burden on her, and I asked she do the same for me. It became the best foundation for a friendship I've ever had because it was okay if we messed up or pissed each other off as long as we listened and tried to make it better. A relationship based on respect than on misplaced gestures of "niceness". However, at this moment I find myself weakened from life based on how inconsistent my work has been as a filmmaker. Even now, I have a film that I'd like to continue editing, but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't even move on to my next project because I feel like I've lost the confidence of all of those who helped me on previous films. So, how do I earn someone's respect when I've lost respect for myself? In a way, I wish I had a mentor like her. I could really use someone (other than my husband) who says to me, "In case no one has told you they love you today, know that I do. And I always will." Instead, I find myself continuing to fall into the role of caretaker and counselor, just as I was as a Massage Therapist, and not lunging towards the leadership role I desire and thrive upon when making films. If anyone has any advice on how to purge the caretaker role and breakout into a leadership role (or reclaim my leadership role), please share!
Second - I think it makes me teary because this kind of story exemplifies intense involvement on the part of the leader. This kind of involvement ignites my vitality, but I cannot see a way for me to get involved right now. And I hate waiting... in any case, I cry because I am simultaneously inspired, afraid, and inhibited. I want so much to feel strong again, and I don't, both physically and emotionally. Perhaps that's what being a caretaker for too long does to you - it slowly breaks you until you cannot muster the strength to recover from it. But I will recover... I just hate waiting.

As for business administration, I think this is a call to arms for managers and leaders. This talk puts into stark light that you cannot assume a leadership role when you do not believe in what you do or who you do it for. You must believe in it, you must believe in your ability to affect the situation, and you must be willing to fail, so that you may be willing to try. You must be willing to get your hands dirty and be an example to those who might follow you, remembering that every moment is a teachable moment. What she is describing is a role model. I was one once, and I strive to be one again.

Well, this is the end of PART TWO. With 10 TED Talks to watch, I'd like to pace myself, and you, dear readers, with all of this lovely reflection. But let me finish with these questions for you:
1) What was your reaction to these videos?
2) Could you identify with the concepts? Why or why not?
3) How is this relevant to Business Administration or Entrepreneurship?
Leave your comments below! As Liz Gilbert would say, "Let's keep the conversation going!"

Cheers,
*~K~*

The Self-Education of a Free-Spirited, Not-Quite-Novice Filmmaker : PART ONE

How'd you like all those hyphens, eh? Let's call it a creative choice.

As a only child, I've been an observer of human behavior and interaction all my life. Such a self-imposed role has a way of leading one to believe themselves more knowledgeable than those who live through the scenarios being observed. Debatable, sure, but I believe my continued education cannot contain simply absorbed information; I must also digest the concepts and put it back out into the world. Any of my professors would tell you that I was always very engaged in class discussions, with no shortage of opinions and unsolicited advice. With no classroom currently available to me, however, I've decided to record my thoughts in this blog based on certain recommended TED Talks.

An article in the Business Insider claimed these 10 TED Talks are worth more than an MBA. Seeing as I love listening to TED Talks and desperately want to pursue my graduate degree, I figured what do I have to loose? Also, while the content I'm reflecting on is geared towards those seeking a Masters in Business Administration and I am simply a Filmmaker seeking a Masters... of something... eventually... I fully intend to own and run my own studio during my lifetime, so I figure the free online education should supplement my aspirations nicely.

To keep a homework-like structure, I'll respond to each video as I see them. Please assume that I will be writing as if you, the reader, have already watched the video.


1) Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve

As I read over this info-graphic, I begin to realize in what ways I have a fixed mindset. Time to embrace change! Graphic by Nigel Holmes, picture courtesy of innovationnu.wordpress.com

I know this lesson all too well, though thinking back to my childhood and adolescence, even now, I find it difficult to employ. My mother is a driven and academically-inclined woman who was unfortunately plagued with unsatisfactory, often heartbreaking, romantic relationships. After her fiancé died, we moved to the suburbs and I began middle school. I had struggled in my "Gifted and Talented" classes in elementary school, mostly because I was also dealing with my parents' divorce and my mother's soon-to-be husband. But after we moved, I decided I could not allow my school performance to be another burden on my mother. So, I made the effort. I became an honor roll student, even with the challenge of having all of my classes being "GT". Never straight A's, but always honors or advanced classes, and for the first time, I could say, "I'm doing well in school." But my mother never seemed satisfied with my progress, and so I gave up. My freshman year of high school, I tried to take all honors courses, but when I got a C in history, and a D in Biology, I decided it was too hard. I've always thrived on challenges, but this was the first time I did not rise to it. I took a normal Chemistry class my sophomore year, and found myself so bored that I both tutored the juniors in the class and got a C+ because I had no need to do the homework to pass the tests. I graduated with a 2.7 GPA and a ton of extracurricular activities because, quite frankly, I needed the encouragement they provided. I could see the results of my efforts in band and theater, and was more eager to improve when others relied on me.

Now, I'm 34 years old in a fantastic marriage where my partner supports me and encourages me and believes that I can make the giant leap from my old occupation as a Massage Therapist to my lingering and recently rediscovered passion for storytelling as a Filmmaker. He is my life line in ways that I'm not sure are healthy, but that's my problem to solve, not his. And he keeps me going, and it is imperative that I keep going. I'm just not sure I fully believe I can change. It's easy to believe that money is more important than emotional/spiritual fulfillment. It's hard to believe that what you do is of value when no one values it (it doesn't pay well or you receive no acknowledgement for your contribution) and no sees you as being knowledgeable ('cause anyone can do it, right?) and all employers judge you on your past work (in a visual medium, you need something that looks good, even if you aren't responsible for what looks bad). So, while I adore the idea that we are teaching kids to improve - and there is another fantastic TED Talk about being a champion for struggling students - and I would love to be that person for my children, sadly, my current situation, mental state, physical state, gives me too much to fight against to believe anything will change. Can it change? Sure, and I sincerely hope it will. But I think I will always feel "behind" a lot of my intelligent friends (or currently thriving friends) because of my childhood burdens and my unfortunate awareness of them (you can overcome a lot if you don't have to face the reality at the time). I've even downloaded several selections from classic literature that I have never read because I could listen in class and glean all I needed to pass. And grades, the judgement of others, was all that ever seemed to matter to the people that were important to me. Now, I hope that I can find fulfillment in my efforts, even if I'm not the best. But the truth is, while I've learned to be my own best friend, I am naturally my own worst critic, and that voice is much louder. And I still want to be the best, which is frustrating, because that will never happen, even if I'm successful. So... here's to being better!


2) Sam Richards: A Radical Experiment in Empathy

For those of you who know and love Star Trek, you'll appreciate how often this situation comes up. Picture courtesy of www.cultureofempathy.com

I had to take a Facebook break after this one. The issue that Mr. Richards asks you to empathize with is easy for me (my mother knew I was an empath at the tender age of 3 when she saw me cry at a funeral on television without knowing what it was; I could just see that they were sad, and it made me sad for them), but the subject matter always gets me riled up. Especially since this past summer I took a World Geography class, which helped to further inform me of "The Perils of Petrocracy" - a clever play on words, but not by me. Read the article, please. It's inspiring and heartbreaking and will make you rethink that gas-guzzling truck-with-hips.

Anyway, I understand what he's trying to say. He's saying that if we can empathize with what we could say is commonly accepted as "the enemy", then finding empathy in smaller annoyances or wrong-doing should be within our grasp. And yet, so often people do not - or at least their actions do not express their empathy. Admittedly, I'm more interested in Psychology than Sociology, but still, I see the validity of his lesson. As it relates to how this lesson would apply to an MBA, I'm quite sure you have to relate to your market or employees if ever you are to do business with them. Who among us would buy from a grocer who did not have sympathy for those who go hungry?

Unfortunately, I believe that the capability of empathy is declining in the United States due to the questionable nature of information and its sources. If there was a single person who could not sympathize with the Iraqi's position, it probably stemmed from the idea that something Mr. Richards said was false or inaccurate. Such an accusation would be enough to justify not feeling empathy because the situation to feel empathy for is fictional. This delusional cycle, and I call it delusional because it is a belief that relies on suspicion and not fact, is ammunition against the efforts of peace and conflict resolution, whether locally, nationally, or globally. Place blame where you may - on the media, on our community leaders, on our collective declining education, or our growing paranoia of anything "new" - but the truth is, ultimately confirming information, digesting it, and expressing empathy for others rests squarely on the shoulders of each individual. Taking personal responsibility for one's beliefs, reactions, and actions is at the core of being a human, conscious adult, and evidence of anything less than that shows us to be incompetent, and worse, barbaric.

Interestingly enough, this is why I had to stop being a Massage Therapist. Giving of my self, my compassion to those who did not extend that same compassion to themselves chipped away at my ability to care for people. It's hard to advocate for people's well-being when they couldn't care less about their well-being, vying instead for a quick fix that wasn't in pill form but still acted like a pill. But that's another story for another day.


3) Angela Lee Duckworth: The Key to Success? Grit.

A fantastic meme that captures the essence of Duckworth's TED Talk. Photo courtesy of the facebook account of the late Terry Pratchett.

 Well, that was delightful. A short but effective story that echoes the findings of Carol Dweck, who is pioneering the "Growth Mindset" for education. I'll admit, part of what I enjoyed was that it was short, focused, and very well thought-out. I even watched it twice, I enjoyed it so much. But, to the subject matter...

I sooooo identify with this. Unfortunately, I was the person with talent who tended to give up once they were given praise for how quickly they learn. It's only been as an adult who changed ALL of her childhood plans that I found myself setting goals for myself and challenged myself to meet them. In high school, I thought I was destined to be a law enforcement officer, but after starting a co-op, it no longer appealed to me (I no longer felt the need to be accepted into the "boys club" which is most police forces). My first year of college was a joke and found little value in the lessons I was paying for, so I worked entry-level positions for a year before realizing that I would surely drown without a skill that demanded a better wage. The plan to become a massage therapist was actually always a long-term goal that included: becoming financially independent, staying physically active, and making enough money where I could pay my way through college when the time was right. And I did. After the struggle of becoming financially independent, making decent money, I took two community college courses to see if I would be able to pass classes again after an eight-year hiatus. Do you know what I found? A complete 180. I was passionate, I was engaged, and I didn't just do my homework; I did the equivalent of TED Talks with every assignment. Why? Because I was finally ready to continue growing; I was ready for change. Now, so many things have changed (I'm 8 credits away from receiving my B.F.A. in Film & Video Production). Not all of them will be staying the same, so I long for a moment to "get settled" before moving on.

As for how it relates to an MBA, I imagine being able to identify the capacity for "grit" in yourself and others is essential for hiring and maintaining a productive work environment. It's the work ethic that older generations continually say they do not see in younger generations and the quality in young adults that is present but hard to find when so many have been coddled or scolded instead of encouraged. As a weird afterthought, it occurs to me that these lessons could also apply to being a parent, and I fully intend to encourage a "growth" mindset for my children. May they suffer only enough to grow and learn and become active, engaged, and successful human beings.

Well, this is the end of PART ONE. With 10 TED Talks to watch, I'd like to pace myself, and you, dear readers, with all of this lovely reflection. But let me finish with these questions for you:
1) What was your reaction to these videos?
2) Could you identify with the concepts? Why or why not?
3) How is this relevant to Business Administration or Entrepreneurship?
Leave your comments below! As Liz Gilbert would say, "Let's keep the conversation going!"

Cheers,
*~K~*