My Thanksgiving Letter to President Obama - #NoDAPL

In an effort to become more active in the democracy I've enjoyed all my American life, I am starting a weekly series of Letters to the President. Regardless of the topic, I wish to engage my lawmakers directly. Facebook posts are great for venting, but they don't get work done. Here's this weeks letter:

"Dear President Obama,

                As my husband and I wrap up our Thanksgiving weekend, we ponder over those things we often take for granted. Sure, we’re grateful for our high-speed internet connection and our subscription to Netflix. But all too often, we forget that there is so much more we have that others do not: some do not have heat in the winter, or even a roof over their heads. People without their health, their family, or their safety. Or worse, there are those who thought they were safe, protected by the promise of the ethical and humane treatment of their fellow man, but are instead cheated out of a good and healthy life by those who are more concerned with acquiring wealth. Is that a fair exchange?

                For as long as you’ve been in office, and before that, on the campaign trail, you’ve stated time and again that healthcare is a right, and I agree. But does not health care start with preventing harm? Preventative care through the Affordable Care Act is available at no cost, thanks to you. We are grateful for that. But medical care doesn’t always prevent disease; identifying ailments in a timely fashion is sometimes all we can hope for. No, preventative medical care, which you so passionately campaigned for, includes protecting the environment that provides for our sustenance. The air we breathe must be protected to prevent disease. The food we eat must be of sound quality to avoid illnesses. The water that sustains us must be kept clean, as some wrongs cannot be made right.

                Perhaps you know I am referring to the Dakota Access Pipeline. Perhaps the Dakota Access Pipeline isn’t the only instance where the integrity of our water has been violated. Perhaps the negligence in Flint, Michigan has given the American civilian population a very good reason to be grateful for something as simple as clean, accessible water. And we want to continue to be grateful for that modern luxury. A luxury that we, as Americans, are actively working to bring to developing countries (www.water.org). But how do we justify improving the lives of others in this manner when we actively allow for the contamination of our own water, here in the continental United States?

                In an effort to get out of our heads and back into the world, it occurs to us to simply do what is within our means. We can sign the petition, but will you listen? We can call and write, but will you heed us? We can donate money, but will it be enough? Not unless you act with us.

                The protesters, who have opposed the Dakota Access Pipeline for more than seven months, have done more than “what is within their means”, risking life and limb. Why? Because they know what the people of Flint, Michigan now know – it IS a matter of life and death. I ask you, as someone who has fought for the improvement of health for all, please take a moment to consider what is within your means. As you may or may not know, the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe has filed a lawsuit but the courts have not filed the paperwork yet, and are allowing construction to begin. As such, the protesters now face harsh weather conditions in addition to violent opposition from law enforcement. The Army Corps of Engineers, the same Army you command, has issued an eviction notice, supposedly to keep the protesters safe. The eviction notice, you can imagine, seems like a backhand to our native brothers and sisters, who have suffered great loss over the centuries already. But I believe you can do more than protect the protesters as they exercise their first amendment rights. I believe you can do the right and moral thing, and stop the construction for good.

I believe you can save lives, Mr. President, just as you’ve done with the Affordable Care Act. Stop the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline. It may be the best decision you make yet.

Most sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen of this Great Nation"

Want to write the President? Go to https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact - it's easy! Want to get involved? Sign the petition! Call the White House! And donate if you can!

***PLEASE NOTE: The form on the WH.gov site only allows for 2500 characters, so write out the long form, like I did above, and then shorten it for online submission. You can always send the full version via snail mail, if you wish.

Here's the abbreviated version I sent online:

"Dear President Obama,

I wrote a longer letter you can read on blog here: http://embracethekayoss.blogspot.com/2016/11/my-thanksgiving-letter-to-president.html . But for now, here is my abbreviated version:

As my husband and I wrap up our Thanksgiving weekend, we ponder over those things we often take for granted. Our family? Our health? Our safety? In an effort to get out of our heads and back into the world, it occurs to us to simply do what is within our means. We can sign the petition, but will you listen? We can call and write, but will you heed us? We can donate money, but will it be enough? Not unless you act with us.

The protesters, who have opposed the Dakota Access Pipeline for more than seven months, have done more than “what is within their means”, risking life and limb. Why? Because they know what the people of Flint, Michigan now know – it IS a matter of life and death. I ask you, as someone who has fought for the improvement of health for all, please take a moment to consider what is within your means. As you may or may not know, the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe has filed a lawsuit but the courts have not filed the paperwork yet, and are allowing construction to begin. As such, the protesters now face harsh weather conditions in addition to violent opposition from law enforcement. The Army Corps of Engineers, the same Army you command, has issued an eviction notice, supposedly to keep the protesters safe. The eviction notice, you can imagine, seems like a backhand to our native brothers and sisters, who have suffered great loss over the centuries already. But I believe you can do more than protect the protesters as they exercise their first amendment rights. I believe you can do the right and moral thing, and stop the construction for good.

I believe you can save lives, Mr. President, just as you’ve done with the Affordable Care Act. Stop the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline. It may be the best decision you make yet.

Most sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen of this Great Nation"

The Fool: Fearless, Wise, But Most Importantly...

The rule of three can be applied to many situations: timing in comedy, the structure of storytelling, and all good things, of course, come in threes. For me, hints from the Universe also make themselves known this way. Once is a dinner topic, but nothing of consequence. Twice is a coincidence, and an eye-opening one at that. But three? That's where the magic happens. That is when the message is finally clear enough to transform the recipient, and for the better, I believe.

My most recent message? It can be summarized by a single image...

The Fool tarot card from the Shadowscapes deck.
Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com 

I've been waiting a long time to do a blog about what I consider the most misunderstood of all the tarot characters: The Fool. With on-going inspiration from creative guru, Liz Gilbert, my current journey has finally brought into stark light why she is both an essential enigma and a symbol for our generation. We'll discuss how the meaning ripples into professional and social paradigms, but, for now, let's take a moment to consider how The Fool resonates with us on a personal level.

Classically, the Fool was seen as a simpleton. A wanderer who took risks, but did so without the burden of fear. This impish demeanor was mirrored by his ability to attract the loyalty of an equally unburdened soul, such as a dog (see the well-known Rider-Waite representation below), or the fox (pictured above in the more contemporary Shadowscapes deck). In fact, the Fool is purported to be so carefree that the basest fears from which an animal might suffer do not afflict it, thus why the animal marvels at her so - after all, even the dog can sense the danger of The Fool's position. Thus, the picture of a "classic fool" is all too often a victim of his own naivete; blissful, but doomed. It has only been in modern interpretations that the Fool was also seen as wise, perhaps even the wisest of them all.

The Fool from the classic Rider-Waite tarot deck.
Photo courtesy of Aeclectic Tarot.

I'd like to offer my own analysis for what The Fool truly represents: being proactive in one's own life.

Yes, The Fool is fearless. Yes, The Fool is certainly wise. But most importantly, the Fool is an active participant in her own life. She takes action. As much as we hate to admit it, we do not know what will happen from one moment to the next. No matter how we might plan or prepare, scrutinize or analyze, with great intentions or flippant feats, the world, as we experience it, is a mystery until we, well... experience it. The Fool knows this and chooses to embrace the unknown. She is seen by others as foolish because she does not show fear, but she knows that acting on any feelings of fear is wasteful. With this wisdom, her spirit is free; with this freedom, her joy knows no bounds.

In this case, "dealing with it" means do not prevent yourself from doing something just because you are afraid. Weigh and measure. Make a choice, don't let circumstances dictate your reaction. Meme courtesy of pinterest.com

The Fool is also about our participation in the divine mystery, of which the clues can only be sensed and interpreted through our intuition. Once we have connected with that small, still voice from within, the lesson of The Fool implores us to take action with unwavering faith. And that is why it seems folly from the outside. Because the Fool is listening to herself, to the divine source within herself. She allows herself to dance with the divine. Ultimately, this card is about observing versus acting. Observing leaves one feeling foolish, with judgment looming over head, as if a rain cloud prevents such movement. But acting has a way of silencing all other chatter to make clear the next steps. That is to say, how else do you learn how to dance than by first dancing?

Liz's delightful reminder that choosing to do something does not mean you have any investment in the outcome. Free yourself from the responsibility of results, and you experience a greater joy in the journey. Meme courtesy of relatably.com

In a professional environment, The Fool reminds us that we cannot possibly progress without risking failure. Or perhaps that was Ken Robinson in his most infamous TED Talk. In it, he said, "...kids will take a chance. If they don't know, they'll have a go. They're not frightened of being wrong." Thus, The Fool is child-like, but brilliant. As an adult, the lesson to take from both the iconic tarot card and Sir Robinson is, "If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original." With that being true, one cannot live creatively without being prepared to be wrong. Without being prepared to make mistakes.

Life is not linear. It's organic. 

- Ken Robinson

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt this creative revolution. The recent video of the Mahomet Seymour High School girls' dance team to the poignant spoken-word song "What Room Does Fear Have?" is evidence of that. On a social level, I think it means we're ready to stop living in the shadows of our forebears and make the world anew. One can only hope that such a world will be both original and inspiring, and not seeded with the hate fear breeds. As Sir Ken Robinson proposed, with his education revolution, it starts with preparing our children for the unknown. This, I believe, starts with us embracing what scares us.

Quick Political Insert: If ever there was a sound argument for democratic socialism, it's that no one feels compelled to take risks when they risk everything for so little in return. I, for one, long for a day when the American Federal Government agrees that homelessness and bankruptcy is something it can easily protect every citizen from, not just terrorism (and we're suffering from the mentally ill in our own country more so than any attacks from "outsiders"). After all, if the majority of Americans are worrying about basic needs, such as food and shelter, then they don't have the time, energy, or resources to inform or educate themselves, allowing them to be active participants in the democratic process.

Personally, the lesson of The Fool has manifested so many times in my life, I'm surprised she hasn't become a spiritual patron. My martial arts training required physical exertion, which allowed for a profound quieting of the mind during my tumultuous teenage years. When I decided to go back to college in my twenties, I did so after giving myself breathing room to hear my own callings, which gave me the courage to move across the country, not to mention change schools and majors. Even now, at 35-years-old, as I'm "making it up as I go" with my husband, I hear the call, still. It says, Sitting and thinking about it never gets anything done. Keep going. You're not alone. Keep going. Just breathe. Keep going.

Even now, I get encouragement from my nearest and dearest...

Just Dance...
Just Start Walking...
Just Keep Going.

And so, I pass The Fool's message on to you - wherever you are in life, whatever you're doing or feeling, stop. Take a moment to silence the cries of fear, and ask your small, still voice -

What brings you joy?
What idea fills you with excitement?
What would you like to explore, without expectation of what may come of the expedition?

And then go about your life. The answers will come to you in their own time. And when those answers filter through and manifest into opportunities, take a chance. No need to quit your job and move across the country (though, it's not out of the realm of possibility). Just embrace the fear. Go on, give it a big, cuddly hug; like a giant stuffed bear that can't suffocate from the oodles of love you're about to infuse it with. And then? Enjoy the journey, my friend.

Because I don't know how my life will turn out, and I'm okay with that. Say it with me! "I don't know how my life will turn out, and I'm okay with that."
Meme courtesy of pinterest.com

Tell me - what has The Fool meant to you in past readings? What have you been afraid to do? Leave a comment and let me know!

And now... onward with the adventure!

*~K~*

P.S. - I would like to thank my friend Paul for his part in inspiring this post. Thanks for "just walking", man!

Intentions for the New Year: Visions for 2016

Astounding, isn't it, how time and information can rewrite all our intentions for the future? I started writing this blog entry not but three weeks ago, shortly after its predecessor, posted on January 11th, 2016. So much has changed in that time, I had to scratch it all and write anew. Luckily, I've also found encouraging outlooks for this upcoming year, and am quite excited for my challenges. Sure, it might not be as exciting or extreme as some, but I believe in calculated risks. Seeing as we're about to crest into the year of the Fire Monkey, I believe calculated risks are, in fact, the name of the game.

As a Capricorn, I often forget that my changes are slow, but deliberate, so as to avoid plummeting from the heights I refuse to stop climbing. I certainly got smacked down recently by trying to move too fast too soon.

One previous goal for this year was to attempt implantation, the final stage in In-Vitro Fertilization (read more about our struggle to have children here). Several factors will be delaying that goal, and I'm not entirely sure we're upset about it; in fact, we both seem more than a little relieved. This situation became complicated when it came time to pay for the annual embryo freezing. The embryos, currently being held in Colorado, were to be transferred to a nearby clinic (in Maryland) so that we could do implantation here. We were told that if we transferred them before January 30th, they would refund the annual freezing fee. So, of course, we scrambled to find a location. Luckily, one of the largest and most reliable fertility clinics is right down the street from us - Shady Grove Fertility. Unfortunately, they will not accept the transfer, citing that it would be safer if I flew back to Colorado for implantation. Complication number one.

Okay, so now we have to work with a facility in Maryland to prepare me (with hormones, thyroid monitoring, and pre-implantation tests) under the supervision and direction of my doctor in Colorado, which means we'll be, yet again, paying out of pocket for the majority of the work AND it's price has increased since we started this process in 2013, up to $4,500 from $3,300. Luckily, this time our insurance will simply see them as "out of network", which means there will be a limit to how much we might pay. My health insurance agent and I had to enroll me in a different health insurance policy to better suit my needs, since the one I chose is not cost effective and isn't accepted in either facility. But with all of this financial and insurance frustration, we found out that there is no rush - end complication number two (which took up so much of my free time and energy in the last week or so that I cannot attest to any other work being accomplished - no wonder some women become stay-at-home moms!).

Complication number three: My husband and I were under the impression that I should try to have children sooner than later, as I would have an increased risk of miscarrying the older I was when starting the process. However, after speaking with the fertility specialist here in Maryland, it does not matter how old the carrier is so long as the embryos are from a woman 35 years old or younger (i.e. the age of the embryos is the only one of concern). Seeing as I had them frozen when I was 32, then we are effectively safe. In fact, the biggest risk to our success right now is my Body Mass Index (BMI). Mine, unfortunately, is at least 33, and the doctor would prefer it to be closer to 25 - which means loosing about 60 lbs. So, it would make sense to wait in any possible case in order to reduce my BMI before attempting implantation. However, I cannot create a workout routine (or a regular eating and sleeping habit, for that matter), until I get a job. This particular complication may work itself out, as it has already begun.

My husband and I have both agreed that the smartest thing for me to do would be to find massage work so that I may continue to work on my own projects. It'll be easier to find work as a massage therapist, it would allow me to start working sooner than later, and I could make a decent amount with only three or four days a week, as opposed to any other full-time work, which would demand five days a week. I'm not even thinking twice about it because I'm just so excited for my other projects. Now that my time is dedicated to reducing my BMI instead of jumping into pregnancy, I can also take the time to challenge myself as a filmmaker.

You see, most of my work in film school was helping other people complete their projects. Sometimes my work can be seen in the audio/visual medium, but, for the most part, the quality of my work is not reflected in the quality of the final product. Though this has made me keenly aware that I should start making available my strip boards and budget breakdowns for people to see first-hand what I do, it has also made me realize - I need a comprehensive reel. As Jim Carrey so astutely put it, "You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

All that said, I've dreamt up a challenge for myself, but I'm not ready to share it yet. I believe the work speaks for itself, and I'm getting ready to do the work. When the work is done, I will assuredly share it. But for now, no pressure, just following my curiosity so that I may be stronger and more prepared to dare. Now, I know this all seems a bit scatter-brained, but it all came together into two major challenges, and one hope, for 2016: create a habit of working out and nutrition in order to loose weight, make more films to add to my reel, and then our hope is to travel internationally before the end of the year. Yes, implantation is in our future, but for now we have to relinquish our illusion of control over when it will happen.

For those of you who have already finished Liz Gilbert's podcast (assigned from the previous blog post), I invite you to listen to her talk on Oprah's Super Soul Sessions. I am one of those people Liz talks about who has so many different interests and who is so good at so many things that I meander, and I often look at myself like 'what's wrong with me'. A career has never interested me, though owning my own business has always interested me. It is comforting, however, to hear someone else say it's okay to meander because at least you are still searching for your vocation, your calling. At least you have interests, and who cares what they amount to. Embracing my life's work has been my guiding star, regardless of how long it takes me. Thank you, Ms. Gilbert, for articulating exactly what is NOT wrong with people like me. By the way, I am also a Monkey, so it's no wonder I'm jazzed for the upcoming year - it's my year to shine! May this also be a year where my Capricorn and Monkey tendencies can finally work together. For those of you who may be Monkeys as well, this is supposed to be the year where you set your intentions for the next twelve years, so feel free to evaluate and re-evaluate what you want your future to look like. I know I will be!

Should you be interested in your own forecast for the Year of the Fire Monkey, I highly recommend Suzanne White's 2016 New Astrology Horoscopes - they are "new" because she combines both the Chinese and Western astrology types. It's just enough information to satiate one's curiosity but not so much where one might obsessively read the forecast for every waking moment. As for me, I eagerly look forward to what I can do with this opportunity of time and intention. First step? Keep up with my daily workout routine so I have the energy to play!

What are your intentions for the New Year? Where have you found inspiration?

As Liz would say, let's keep the conversation going!
Cheers,
*~K~*

Pursuing the Path to Vitality: Fulfilling the Vision of 2015

As you may or may not know, my husband and I have relocated from the Houston, Texas area to Gaithersburg, Maryland, a once small town outside of our nation's capitol, now grown due to its proximity and public transportation accessibility. Little did we know when we dreamt of this move a year ago that we'd be able to fulfill it so clearly. To everyone else, our move may look rash or bold, but it is, in fact, the culmination of our vision for the future with diligence, hard work, and support from our family.

By no one's fault, my husband had determined we could not stay in Texas. He was born and raised there and had had his fill. Even if there was something satisfactory about his work or his home, he had made it clear that he would still be bitter about being "stuck". Of course, we tried. We even took a long weekend to Austin, the one place in all of Texas we could see moving, hoping it would be the compromise we could live with. Alas, as we drove away, my poor husband announced, "Nope. It's still Texas, and I hate Texas."

I'm sure you've asked yourself by this point, But what about where YOU want to live? Truth be told, I didn't have an opinion. Gushing as it may seem, I am perfectly happy to live wherever so long as I get to sleep in the same bed as my husband. Oh, sure, I have opinions, and they were quickly expressed any time a suggestion surfaced that required careful analysis. Australia? Really... have you looked into their immigration policies? Yes, that's right, dear. They don't want us because we want to have kids soon, and if we have a child there, then they'll be forced to either keep us against their will or deport us with a newborn, which no one looks favorably upon. Sound familiar? Yeah... So, we whittled it down to within the continental United States.

But an amazing thing occurred after that. My love had an epiphany. It was more than just "we're not staying here", but it extended into a vision of "we'll be moving before the end of this year". It was a beautiful moment that I cannot fully capture in words, but it ended with a dream we both clung to: we would be in a new place by Thanksgiving, enjoying our annual Lord of the Rings marathon in the comfort of our own home. Truth be told, I don't think we fully believed we could do it, but we had to move forward as if we could. As if there was no turning back.

We worked, and we saved. We researched, and we fantasized. And then we reached a tipping point. I'm sure you've felt it at some point in your life. It's that moment when you are primed and ready to make a major decision, and find yourself more afraid than ever to make it. We found ourselves asking, would it be easier to just find an apartment here? Should we just have children now and move later? Well, it was more my husband. I'm quite accustomed to listening to that quiet voice that beckons for something more. Sure, it would be easier. It would not, however, be what you want. It would be what other people want for you, and they only want it for you because they are afraid for you. And that's no way to live.

Perhaps by happenstance or by fate, we'll never know, I learned about Liz Gilbert's newest book Big Magic, just about the time of this "tipping point". She hosted a short podcast, Magic Lessons, that explored the topics in her book to sometimes hilarious, but always insightful, ends. With our 90-minute daily commute (yes, that's three hours a day stuck in a car; even if it's with the love of your life, it gets old quickly), we started listening to podcasts, and this one crept into our lives just as our doubts had peaked. Please, by all means, check it out for yourself. To summarize would deprive you of finding the message within the journey meant just for you, but we did figure out our message: pursue that which gives you vitality, and curiosity is the key to finding vitality.

Okay, maybe when you boil it down it sounds too vague, but consider how it extends into every action, every decision we make. When job-hunting, curiosity is what keeps us from becoming depressed when we don't get the job. When moving to a new city, curiosity is what drives us to become engaged with our community and explore its merits. Even moving away from family, curiosity begs us to find a creative way to keep the connection of love alive until we can embrace each other again. But more than anything, curiosity takes the pressure off of the explorer to produce results from the expedition and returns the focus to the journey itself. We don't know what lies ahead of us, nor did we know when we packed up a fifteen-foot Uhaul and trekked across the continental United States, but we did so with an open mind, a willing heart, and a well-prepared set of intentions.

On my last day at work, I said goodbye to many, including some whom I did not realize considered me important. And each one had a similar version of one burning question: Why are you leaving? Here's the story that arose from repeatedly grasping for the truth:

My husband was there for me when I needed him, and now he needs me. He needs me to believe in him in a way he cannot yet believe in himself, and it's a role I'm happy to fill. I can find work anywhere, but he needs to be in a place that has more opportunities. He also likes the cold and he likes being near water, so when he fell in love with Baltimore, I was not surprised. In fact, I was kind of relieved. Maryland is close enough to people I know to have a safety net, which is what I required moving forward, but it is also new enough for us to make it our own. Is it what he wants? Who knows. But it's a good start. And what is a life worth if you can't take calculated risks to make it your own? I'm invested in my husband's happiness, and, in doing so, I'm finding my own path to vitality.

Stay tuned, I've got another blog post to follow which will expand on hints I've received from the Universe about what is on the horizon for 2016!

Cheers,
*~K~*

The Value of Giving

If you had $1,000 to donate to any cause or charity right now, what/who would you choose and why?

Don't be clever. This isn't that kind of test. This is the kind of test where there are good answers and then well-thought-out answers, and neither matter. All that matters is that you listen to yourself. No, not just fantasize about other people's reactions to your projected altruism. When you put that answer out into the world, take it back in and digest it.

Is that really important to me?

Does my heart ache when I see children going hungry or homeless veterans?

Would I really give up my money to help them?

What could I do right now to help them?

And this is the part of your introspection I wish for you to reach. Consider it a mantra of sorts: "What can I do to make your life easier?" It's actually a line used in business as a way to build trust.

Trust? Why in the world would I need someone I don't know trust me?

Maybe it's not about you. What they need is tangible - food, water, shelter, clothing, security. What you need is a little more fluid - a sense of importance, accomplishment, connection. Connection. Sure, you may feel some relief from the burden of empathy after offering help, but will you fill connected? The proffer of charity without any expectations or judgement, and perhaps a healthy dose of compassion, is a freeing experience for both you and your recipient. Just stop. And listen. And respond.

There are millions of people who walk this earth every day with no such dearth who cannot claim they receive attentive interaction. But when you have so little, stopping everything makes your generous gesture all the more remarkable. Time or money, right? That's all you can donate. Wrong. You can absolutely donate your attention. And don't just pray. Pray all year long, if you must, but once a year, let your prayer come to life. Step outside your door, and bridge that gap between you and someone who might need you.

And maybe, just maybe, you'll recall the value of giving.

I'm sorry... did I ruin your holiday fun? That was not my intention. There plenty of things surrounding you to cheer you up, I'm sure, if you know where to look. I'm sure you have presents to open, and people that love you to visit, and special foods to eat, and, even if you don't have any of that today of all days, you at least have your health to be grateful for. After all, you could be dead.

I invite you all to tell me, without expectation or judgement, What can I do to make your life easier? I can't say that I'll be able to fulfill that need, only that I shall listen. In the spirit of reciprocity, I'd like to tell you what you could do for me. You could leave me a comment, whether on this post or any other of my blog posts. Writing can be lonely, you see, and it helps to know that someone is listening to me, too.

May you be as kindly received as the kindness you show. Thank you.

Strengths, Talents, and Divination

Happy New Moon in Libra! Well... it was the New Moon. Now we're about halfway to the Full Moon in Taurus (a.k.a. The Hunters Moon) on October 27th.

Okay, so maybe it's not always something to celebrate, but I've made it a habit to break out the tarot cards every New Moon to reflect and make a conscious effort to make the next "moon", or month, an improvement. It's a routine that keeps me balanced, and this Libra Moon was all about balance. In fact, not just about the need for balance, but also in what ways I'm already juggling, maintaining the balancing act.

Two of Cups symbolizes the juggling act in order to maintain balance. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

Let me back up...

I've been doing this series of classes on Lynda.com by Dave Crenshaw, the first of which is called "Discovering Your Strengths". Oh, please... I've been doing these kind of evaluations all of my life. I know what my strengths are; there's just no easy way to make use of those strengths. But, it's the first in the series, and I didn't want to continue half-assed. So, I discovered my strengths. What's funny to me is how spot on my "talents" coordinate with my intended professional path: teaching college and making films. Not one or the other, mind you. I actually need the balance to help drive me forward. Like a friend once told me, it's like two people climbing really tall stairs; one pushes or pulls the other up, keeping their momentum going. But it's so difficult to show someone that I have a talent for teaching when that's not what my background is in or managing when I don't have a M.B.A. That's where I hope this exercise will come in handy.

In order to discover a "talent", one first must determine their gifts, loves, and skills. This requires a series of worksheets, evaluating multiple mentions, and then comparing the three to see if there is, in fact, a "talent". These talents can identify what you would be best at doing professionally. Below is the culmination of the three previous worksheets to show what my supposed "talents" are:

You might have guessed one of the items listed under "gifts" was organizing - I'm good at it and it comes easily to me, but I have little love for it - thus, the color-coding. Ask me about Skittles sometime - it's a great story. The strongest two "talents" are in orange and pink, and each have multiple associations. The scribble at the bottom is just the "talent equation".

As you can see, my greatest talent is Interacting and Motivating Others/Interacting with Others/Educating and/or Managing (orange). I'm a very project-oriented person, and I prefer working with people more than technology, so I tend to manage or lead projects. But I have a strong background in education, so my talent lends itself to educating. This was a HUGE light bulb for me. Even when I was a full-time massage therapist I would take the extra time to explain my observations, what was likely going on with a client's body, and what kind of techniques they could employ between sessions to improve their progress. I was assuming the responsibility of an educator, and was sincerely disappointed when someone wouldn't be interested in the information. Don't they want to help themselves get better? Unfortunately, the answer is often "no" because they want someone else to make them feel better (which, by the by, no one can make anyone feel better, but you could allow yourself to feel better with assistance... but I digress). If I were in an environment where people knew they were there to learn, however, I think people would be much more receptive to what I have to offer.

The Magician of the Major Arcana represents grasping the unseen and harnessing it to become reality. This immediately made me think of my next major "step", obtaining my Master's Degree in order to qualify to teach on the collegiate level. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

My secondary talent is quite like the first, except it's Confidently Interacting with Others/Problem Solving/Filmmaking (pink). This equation very much shows why it has been that I tend to assume the role of Producer - it is quintessentially those three things. But this talent also lends itself to being in front of the camera, since Confidently Interacting with Others/Acting/Filmmaking works well, too.

The Page of Wands is a creative, passionate, confident, assured and assertive person. She reminds me of what I am like when I am full of vitality and love. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

My last major talent, circled in purple, seems to be what I'm doing now - Storytelling and Collecting Stories/Writing and Blogging/Psychology and Interpersonal Growth. This is very much what I do to be a better person, not necessarily what I do to advance professionally.

There was one final talent that I thought was noteworthy, circled in blue - Capable of and enjoys physical challenges (probably why I did massage for so long) + Interacting with Others + Philosophy and Reflection through Activity. For me, this immediately brought to mind my love of Martial Arts. I studied it as a teenager and into my early twenties, but it was difficult to keep up the practice without my dojo and without making enough money to really have a "hobby". Massage became my physical outlet, but it was never the same; it was never a challenge. Now, I've had a craving, if you will, for kickboxing. Nothing philosophical, just pushing myself physically to clear myself mentally and emotionally. This exercise definitely brought into stark light that it isn't just a passion or a gift, it's a skill, and one I do not wish to loose.

XX Judgement of the Major Arcana represents reawakening, hearing a call, making a judgement, and making tough choices. This card reminds me to be brave in the face of success. After all, getting what you want is scary, too. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

All this to say, I've been studying and reflecting long enough that, in order to keep balance-over-time, I must now take action. It is time to graduate into becoming the teacher as well as the student. I am primed to take my own advice and start failing so that I may succeed. I'm feeling quite confident about my next round for pursuing my long-term plan. It includes kickboxing, children, a new car and house, a Master's Degree, and getting comfy in my new professional groove, balancing teaching and making films. I'm not entirely sure how it will pan out, but I have a plan, and that plan will help to guide me for the future elements I'll have to juggle.

What about you, dear readers? How do you reflect and motivate yourself into action? What's your preferred form of divination? How do you remind yourself of your strengths and talents?

Preparation: A Nugget of Wisdom by K.oss

I believe aptitude tests prepare us for life’s tests. As a massage therapist, it became clear early on that I could not think about what I was doing while I did it. The best way to perform a massage is to study and analyze before the session, and then be free to do the massage. Your preparation for the session will be evident, and no amount of “cramming” or over-analyzing will improve that time. This is especially true when what you do requires that you listen. Any performer, whether in dance, music, or theatre, will tell you that thinking during their performance is the most detrimental thing they can do. Just as you are instructed to get a good night’s rest and clear your mind before the SATs, so should you before doing a job that requires your attention. For this very reason, everyone should support the arts because mastery relies upon preparedness, coping and listening skills, and relinquishing the expectation of what should happen in order to embrace what is happening. Every art form requires these skills, and forces its participants to practice them.

Now that I'm pursuing my next career in filmmaking, I can see that these lessons are foundational. There is good reason for an entire part of the process to be dedicated to Pre-Production, and it is rooted in the understanding that producing films is difficult. There are a million things that can go wrong when you're on set, and pre-production affords you the opportunity to prepare for as many of them as possible. Without proper groudwork, even the most experienced filmmakers will have to employ super-human feats just to get through the day. More importantly, poor preparation robs you of the zen-like experience of just being in the moment. Proper planning sets the stage for a clarity of mind and lightness of heart that one might be inclined to call "happiness". And who wouldn't like to experience joy while creating art?

Today's preoccupation with preparation reminds me of George Clooney and his directorial debut, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Even if you're not a fan of Clooney, the film is totally worth it for the directing and Sam Rockwell, who portrays the double-life of Chuck Barris. For those who would watch it simply to study the film, remember to watch the extras, including commentary! In the extras, Clooney reveals that he spent four months just working on the storyboards. FOUR MONTHS! Now, that's preparation, ladies and gentlemen.

Today's Nugget of Wisdom has been brought to you by my confusion of whether or not I could wish a musician "good luck" before a performance. "It doesn't matter", he reassured me. "Whatever will be, will be." What a great zen attitude.