Pursuing the Path to Vitality: Fulfilling the Vision of 2015

As you may or may not know, my husband and I have relocated from the Houston, Texas area to Gaithersburg, Maryland, a once small town outside of our nation's capitol, now grown due to its proximity and public transportation accessibility. Little did we know when we dreamt of this move a year ago that we'd be able to fulfill it so clearly. To everyone else, our move may look rash or bold, but it is, in fact, the culmination of our vision for the future with diligence, hard work, and support from our family.

By no one's fault, my husband had determined we could not stay in Texas. He was born and raised there and had had his fill. Even if there was something satisfactory about his work or his home, he had made it clear that he would still be bitter about being "stuck". Of course, we tried. We even took a long weekend to Austin, the one place in all of Texas we could see moving, hoping it would be the compromise we could live with. Alas, as we drove away, my poor husband announced, "Nope. It's still Texas, and I hate Texas."

I'm sure you've asked yourself by this point, But what about where YOU want to live? Truth be told, I didn't have an opinion. Gushing as it may seem, I am perfectly happy to live wherever so long as I get to sleep in the same bed as my husband. Oh, sure, I have opinions, and they were quickly expressed any time a suggestion surfaced that required careful analysis. Australia? Really... have you looked into their immigration policies? Yes, that's right, dear. They don't want us because we want to have kids soon, and if we have a child there, then they'll be forced to either keep us against their will or deport us with a newborn, which no one looks favorably upon. Sound familiar? Yeah... So, we whittled it down to within the continental United States.

But an amazing thing occurred after that. My love had an epiphany. It was more than just "we're not staying here", but it extended into a vision of "we'll be moving before the end of this year". It was a beautiful moment that I cannot fully capture in words, but it ended with a dream we both clung to: we would be in a new place by Thanksgiving, enjoying our annual Lord of the Rings marathon in the comfort of our own home. Truth be told, I don't think we fully believed we could do it, but we had to move forward as if we could. As if there was no turning back.

We worked, and we saved. We researched, and we fantasized. And then we reached a tipping point. I'm sure you've felt it at some point in your life. It's that moment when you are primed and ready to make a major decision, and find yourself more afraid than ever to make it. We found ourselves asking, would it be easier to just find an apartment here? Should we just have children now and move later? Well, it was more my husband. I'm quite accustomed to listening to that quiet voice that beckons for something more. Sure, it would be easier. It would not, however, be what you want. It would be what other people want for you, and they only want it for you because they are afraid for you. And that's no way to live.

Perhaps by happenstance or by fate, we'll never know, I learned about Liz Gilbert's newest book Big Magic, just about the time of this "tipping point". She hosted a short podcast, Magic Lessons, that explored the topics in her book to sometimes hilarious, but always insightful, ends. With our 90-minute daily commute (yes, that's three hours a day stuck in a car; even if it's with the love of your life, it gets old quickly), we started listening to podcasts, and this one crept into our lives just as our doubts had peaked. Please, by all means, check it out for yourself. To summarize would deprive you of finding the message within the journey meant just for you, but we did figure out our message: pursue that which gives you vitality, and curiosity is the key to finding vitality.

Okay, maybe when you boil it down it sounds too vague, but consider how it extends into every action, every decision we make. When job-hunting, curiosity is what keeps us from becoming depressed when we don't get the job. When moving to a new city, curiosity is what drives us to become engaged with our community and explore its merits. Even moving away from family, curiosity begs us to find a creative way to keep the connection of love alive until we can embrace each other again. But more than anything, curiosity takes the pressure off of the explorer to produce results from the expedition and returns the focus to the journey itself. We don't know what lies ahead of us, nor did we know when we packed up a fifteen-foot Uhaul and trekked across the continental United States, but we did so with an open mind, a willing heart, and a well-prepared set of intentions.

On my last day at work, I said goodbye to many, including some whom I did not realize considered me important. And each one had a similar version of one burning question: Why are you leaving? Here's the story that arose from repeatedly grasping for the truth:

My husband was there for me when I needed him, and now he needs me. He needs me to believe in him in a way he cannot yet believe in himself, and it's a role I'm happy to fill. I can find work anywhere, but he needs to be in a place that has more opportunities. He also likes the cold and he likes being near water, so when he fell in love with Baltimore, I was not surprised. In fact, I was kind of relieved. Maryland is close enough to people I know to have a safety net, which is what I required moving forward, but it is also new enough for us to make it our own. Is it what he wants? Who knows. But it's a good start. And what is a life worth if you can't take calculated risks to make it your own? I'm invested in my husband's happiness, and, in doing so, I'm finding my own path to vitality.

Stay tuned, I've got another blog post to follow which will expand on hints I've received from the Universe about what is on the horizon for 2016!

Cheers,
*~K~*

Strengths, Talents, and Divination

Happy New Moon in Libra! Well... it was the New Moon. Now we're about halfway to the Full Moon in Taurus (a.k.a. The Hunters Moon) on October 27th.

Okay, so maybe it's not always something to celebrate, but I've made it a habit to break out the tarot cards every New Moon to reflect and make a conscious effort to make the next "moon", or month, an improvement. It's a routine that keeps me balanced, and this Libra Moon was all about balance. In fact, not just about the need for balance, but also in what ways I'm already juggling, maintaining the balancing act.

Two of Cups symbolizes the juggling act in order to maintain balance. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

Let me back up...

I've been doing this series of classes on Lynda.com by Dave Crenshaw, the first of which is called "Discovering Your Strengths". Oh, please... I've been doing these kind of evaluations all of my life. I know what my strengths are; there's just no easy way to make use of those strengths. But, it's the first in the series, and I didn't want to continue half-assed. So, I discovered my strengths. What's funny to me is how spot on my "talents" coordinate with my intended professional path: teaching college and making films. Not one or the other, mind you. I actually need the balance to help drive me forward. Like a friend once told me, it's like two people climbing really tall stairs; one pushes or pulls the other up, keeping their momentum going. But it's so difficult to show someone that I have a talent for teaching when that's not what my background is in or managing when I don't have a M.B.A. That's where I hope this exercise will come in handy.

In order to discover a "talent", one first must determine their gifts, loves, and skills. This requires a series of worksheets, evaluating multiple mentions, and then comparing the three to see if there is, in fact, a "talent". These talents can identify what you would be best at doing professionally. Below is the culmination of the three previous worksheets to show what my supposed "talents" are:

You might have guessed one of the items listed under "gifts" was organizing - I'm good at it and it comes easily to me, but I have little love for it - thus, the color-coding. Ask me about Skittles sometime - it's a great story. The strongest two "talents" are in orange and pink, and each have multiple associations. The scribble at the bottom is just the "talent equation".

As you can see, my greatest talent is Interacting and Motivating Others/Interacting with Others/Educating and/or Managing (orange). I'm a very project-oriented person, and I prefer working with people more than technology, so I tend to manage or lead projects. But I have a strong background in education, so my talent lends itself to educating. This was a HUGE light bulb for me. Even when I was a full-time massage therapist I would take the extra time to explain my observations, what was likely going on with a client's body, and what kind of techniques they could employ between sessions to improve their progress. I was assuming the responsibility of an educator, and was sincerely disappointed when someone wouldn't be interested in the information. Don't they want to help themselves get better? Unfortunately, the answer is often "no" because they want someone else to make them feel better (which, by the by, no one can make anyone feel better, but you could allow yourself to feel better with assistance... but I digress). If I were in an environment where people knew they were there to learn, however, I think people would be much more receptive to what I have to offer.

The Magician of the Major Arcana represents grasping the unseen and harnessing it to become reality. This immediately made me think of my next major "step", obtaining my Master's Degree in order to qualify to teach on the collegiate level. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

My secondary talent is quite like the first, except it's Confidently Interacting with Others/Problem Solving/Filmmaking (pink). This equation very much shows why it has been that I tend to assume the role of Producer - it is quintessentially those three things. But this talent also lends itself to being in front of the camera, since Confidently Interacting with Others/Acting/Filmmaking works well, too.

The Page of Wands is a creative, passionate, confident, assured and assertive person. She reminds me of what I am like when I am full of vitality and love. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

My last major talent, circled in purple, seems to be what I'm doing now - Storytelling and Collecting Stories/Writing and Blogging/Psychology and Interpersonal Growth. This is very much what I do to be a better person, not necessarily what I do to advance professionally.

There was one final talent that I thought was noteworthy, circled in blue - Capable of and enjoys physical challenges (probably why I did massage for so long) + Interacting with Others + Philosophy and Reflection through Activity. For me, this immediately brought to mind my love of Martial Arts. I studied it as a teenager and into my early twenties, but it was difficult to keep up the practice without my dojo and without making enough money to really have a "hobby". Massage became my physical outlet, but it was never the same; it was never a challenge. Now, I've had a craving, if you will, for kickboxing. Nothing philosophical, just pushing myself physically to clear myself mentally and emotionally. This exercise definitely brought into stark light that it isn't just a passion or a gift, it's a skill, and one I do not wish to loose.

XX Judgement of the Major Arcana represents reawakening, hearing a call, making a judgement, and making tough choices. This card reminds me to be brave in the face of success. After all, getting what you want is scary, too. Photo courtesy of Shadowscapes.com

All this to say, I've been studying and reflecting long enough that, in order to keep balance-over-time, I must now take action. It is time to graduate into becoming the teacher as well as the student. I am primed to take my own advice and start failing so that I may succeed. I'm feeling quite confident about my next round for pursuing my long-term plan. It includes kickboxing, children, a new car and house, a Master's Degree, and getting comfy in my new professional groove, balancing teaching and making films. I'm not entirely sure how it will pan out, but I have a plan, and that plan will help to guide me for the future elements I'll have to juggle.

What about you, dear readers? How do you reflect and motivate yourself into action? What's your preferred form of divination? How do you remind yourself of your strengths and talents?